Stranded on top of the world!

     Calculated steps by sandal shod feet took me higher and higher up into the canyon. Sucking air in and blowing it out again. Powerade and chia seeds fueling my fatigued body. Over and over I scanned the ground looking at the obstacles in the way. Maiming a foot on a run like today's was not a very good option. Long day for marathon training takes it's toll. I broke out into the campground and took the gravel road ever upward. I thought it special to be able to look down and see my own feet as I ran. The road behind me, I continued on a trail and stopped at a high point. I was stranded. I had come so far and there was no elevator down. I knew that if I tried to run down, the probability that my knee would hurt was very high. I could climb, but going down would have been torture. Looking back now I wonder what I would have given to have had a stair case that always went up and ended at the same elevation, like those I have seen in optical illusions. An attempt to run down part of the hill only racked the outside of my knee with pain. I was stranded on top of the world!

     After some more running I made it to a parking lot. God has a way of putting people in the right place. A paraglider hadn't wanted to soar that day do to the conditions, and so was able to get a ride down in his car. It made a very long run into a manageable one. Some days you look back
and know Someone was looking down on you.

     I've never snorted cocaine. I've never used meth. I've never shot up heroine. Yet I am familiar with the high not seeming to last as long as it used to. I feel sometimes as if I don't stay tired anymore. The burning and the panting and the pain stop after a few minutes and the life that I felt slips away just like that. My body fatigues. I find that out later when I put it though the paces again. I find it very possible to get addicted to exercise. 

     A person can run from their problems for a while, but they eventually have to stop and face the music. No, not the music that has been drowning out all but the loudest screams their heart and brain can muster. The endorphins eventually seem to run out and they find themselves in the same situation they were before, plus physical fatigue. No one can run from themselves forever. No one can run from their problems forever. I would much rather a person let out anger exercising than in a plethora of other more negative options, but it just doesn't solve everything. Just like a drunk wakes up the next morning remembering the problems they tried to forget the night before, a runner finds themselves in the same life before and after the run. WAKE UP!

     Does this mean I will stop running and exercising? Are you kidding me? No! Not until my legs give up completely and fall off from use. I just know that running is not the answer to all frustrations in life. Facing the music isn't fun sometimes. It is of the utmost importance to make good decisions.

     Wrestling made me realize that we can't be scared to make decisions in life. If you don't explode on the bottom you most likely won't get up. You will stay on the bottom and be beaten into the mat. You have to decide to get up. Once that whistle blows, you stand, you sit out, you switch, you granby, you try to stand again, anything to get yourself in a better place. Even if you do something wrong, at least you are moving.

     We may be tempted to try to pause our stopwatches during training runs. The race clock never stops. It doesn't care that you are tired. It doesn't care that you need to go to the bathroom. Time never stops. Time doesn't care that you are tired. Time doesn't care that you messed up.

     This doesn't mean that no one cares. Even when it seems like no one in the world knows what's going on. Hit your knees and you will find someone that cares.

     Anger with oneself may be the most difficult to handle. Others can be forgiven and if you desire never seen again. You never get away from yourself. You can run around the world. You will never get away from your own mind. You might as well be at peace with it.